Doomed to be a SAHM

My husband is a writer.  He has a writing partner named Brett.  Together they have been successfully and continuously employed as such for more than 10 years.  They have worked their way up and through this business from children's animation to prime-time and this year...
...Emmy winners for best comedy.  He's up there somewhere, trust me.  

But, along with that comes the perks of, unpaid hiatuses every year, working most nights until as unholy an hour as 4am, with a pregnant wife and/or newborn baby at home, I might add.   And there's also the occasional strike.  The latter, we just came out of, but not unscathed.  Towards what was looking like to everyone to be the end days of the strike, many many people we know who were in a multi-year deal with one network or another got their asses handed to them while the "producers" as they are now commonly known, still could.  Dave and Brett's deal was one of the those many.  So now, as a lot of our friends are going back to work and their paychecks are starting to come in again after many months of nothing, Dave and Brett are once again taking meetings and hoping to get staffed on a show.  And, we still have no money coming in.

Why then, you might ask, would I have the balls to turn down the chance at a full time job?

Well, it played out like this...

Out of the blue, I had an opportunity come up to interview for a "mom" oriented website.  Sort of came out of nowhere and at the time I took the interview, I was really into the idea of getting back into a full time job.  That didn't last, however.  Almost before I got back into my car, I felt a sudden panic at the thought of leaving R. with someone else for the majority of his awake hours.  I had the weekend to get back to them with three pitches for the site.  I fully intended to put something down on paper, or in email, as it were.

As I sat there Sunday night staring at a blank page while my son played on the floor in front of me, it just didn't seem worth it.  The hours would only allow me to see him for about an hour before he went to sleep at night.  Being the late sleeper that he is (just like his mama)  I would be gone in the morning before he even woke.  It all sounded too depressing.  So, I turned it down before it was even officially offered to me.  And believe me, I've been kicking myself ever since, which I tend to do anyway, regardless of the decision.

I am consoled only by the fact that we are financially OK for now, thankfully, as we were really frugal while the strike was going on.  No unnecessary trips to Urban Outfitters for me!  Well, maybe there were, but nothing fit me so no harm done.