blogging under the hormonal influence

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Gimme a C, Gimme a V, Gimme an S - what's that spell?! Chorionic Villus Sampling, come on, pay attention.

Had my CVS yesterday. Something I highly recommend if you're into being uncomfortable, terrified and in pain. I guess it wasn't that bad. Then again, nothing is in hindsight... almost nothing, I am still a little intimidated by my own ovaries.

All went as planned, as far as I know, having never had a CVS. Is waiting for 2 hours in a cramped lobby full of disgruntled couples normal? How about being left in an arctic freezing cold examination room for another half hour, with no pants and a thin threadbare sheet? Oh, what about a sonogram technician who gives you absolutely no information and only spends about 10 minutes tops on your exam before bolting from the room never to return with further instructions?

The only plus to the whole ordeal was having the CVS itself performed by Dr. Cliff Huxtable. But, even my time with him was limited to about 15 minutes. The majority of which he rambled on a spiel that I'm sure he recites all day long to the faceless vaginas he finds himself in front of. Something about who invented the speculum and how they've traced it back to the Egyptians. Telling me to go to "my happy place" in order to relax my muscles.

My happy place... um, yeah... been lookin'!

And to help me find such a place he started my journey for me...

"Picture yourself on a dream vacation, on a pink sand beach with a sparkling ocean before you, as you take that last long sip of your virgin pina colada..."

Virgin! I get it! 'Cause I'm pregnant... nice touch!

"...the steward approaches you to ask if there's anything else he can get you. You think for a moment, but you are so content that nothing could really make your day any better. How about some warm chocolate chip cookies? Coming right up!"

This went on and on and I'm pretty close with the details, no kidding. Then I realized that the fucking catheter wasn't even in yet. I mean how many cookies can I possibly eat! Now I'm worried that my bathing suit is getting tighter and tighter and I look fat and I'm going to have to wrap my towel around me in order to get back to my hotel room with my dignity intact.

Thanks a bunch Cliff, now I'm tense again. But, he did give me something to be annoyed at and if anything, that is my happy place.

When we were all done I was given two enormous maxi-pads as a parting gift. Walked back to the car feeling like if I stepped on a crack my uterus may fall out. Made it home and straight into bed. I've been here ever since.

I did bleed a little yesterday, which I knew to expect. Even a little blood freaks me out though. I never even spotted with my first pregnancy and I've been conditioned to think that when blood is present there is a problem. So, I tried to ignore it and chalk it up to normal post CVS activity. It seems to be subsiding today.

I'd say the strangest part of the whole day yesterday was my emotional reaction to seeing the baby. It seemed out of place to me that there was a baby inside me and it wasn't R. I don't know how else to describe it.

With R., we had a Nuchal Translucency before getting an Amnio. At the Nuchal, we got a good hour or more of watching him up on the screen, getting to see him move around and count all his fingers and toes. It was a real bonding experience and I remember feeling for the first time that day that there was a real live baby in there. I mean, earlier ultrasounds were just blobs with little blinking heartbeats, but with the Nuchal there was no mistaking that that was a baby. And from then on, inside of me was his little home.

So, when I saw this new baby in there it felt like a rude house guest who makes himself a little too at home. I felt almost territorial for R. That's his uterus, who the hell let you in? It probably also doesn't help that one too many of my ultrasounds with this pregnancy have been under painful circumstances.

For the most part though, I am really excited about the new addition. When I can get past the hormone induced depression and the times when I'm not confined to my bed for one reason or another, it's been all good.


Fertilized said...

Good luck with the CVS results - sending you good thoughts. I love your prespective of the invaded UTE. I hope hte hormone induced depression vacates the premises

Fertilized said...

How are things?